or Sit Down, Shut Up & Learn Something

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KINDLE  available for pre-order NOW!! Release date February 20th, 2018

Copyright Protected 2017, All rights reserved. Distribution of any or all parts of this manuscript prohibited, unless expressly permitted in writing, from Author.

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Excerpts from chapters 11 and 12 on relationships and dating....

Finding the right guy and then figuring out if he’s "the" guy you want to be with forever, is a daunting task. Once you find the man you think is the right one, you then have to decide if you want to be married or if you guys just want to live together. Let’s take marriage on for a minute. Marriage has evolved through time, and over the past 50 years has become something completely different than what it used to be....


To be realistic, back then and even today, people get married for all sorts of different reasons and not necessarily for love. The difference now, is we have the freedom to go to school, to vote, to have a career and be able to support ourselves. We no longer need a man and the requirement of marriage, to put a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. Today, we can decide if and when we want to marry and are not backed into a corner to do so, out of survival. But, we still take on his last name, even today, so everyone knows who we belong to!  Why?  Because that is how it has been done. I suggest, those women who want to change this societal compulsion, to stop changing their last name. What would happen if the man took on our last name? Is that OK?  Would the world stop?  At the very least, if you see it as a sign of respect, how about a hyphenated name; his last name, a hyphen, then your last name. Would that work?  How about we do not change our last name at all, and hyphenate the kids last name. What do you think of that?  If I was to marry, and that is highly unlikely, I certainly would not take on his name today, not even hyphenated. But, that is who I am today, which is different from who I was a few decades ago. One thing that has been constant, marriage is a contractual obligation; you have to get a license, have it witnessed and filed with the State where you married, and is a legal document. This is a different concept from the ritual of marriage, which I do respect, which can be anything you want it to be....


Finally, I would like to talk about living together. There is an argument to be made if you’re looking to be in a long-term relationship, to test it out by living together. Others may disagree and that’s fine, while others may think this is the only way to go. I’m kind of on the fence, because I think there’s pros and cons on both sides.The pros are you can see who he is, what his habits are, 


....Age does make a difference when you put it into perspective. The funny thing about age, is early on it makes a significant difference, as it does as we age past our 40’s and 50’s. As we get older, we age more quickly and when we are kids our bodies need time to mature, as do our minds. I'm going to throw some number out at you.

8 and 18
17 and 19
15 and 25
20 and 30
30 and 45
50 and 65

 A 15-year difference early on is a huge issue, as is the 10 to 15-year difference later on in life. The 19-year-old having sex with the 17-year-old is statutory rape, but so is the 15 and 25-year-old, and there is a difference. Now what if I told you the 17 and 19 scenario consisted of the boy being 17 years old. Does your perspective change? Maybe the 19-year-old was the male, but knew this girl for 2 years and they were planning on getting married. Would that also change the impact the age difference has on you and the concept of statutory rape? When looking at the law and sex, we need to make sure to stay gender neutral, and look to the maturity and age difference of the those involved. We need to take care ...


Dating safety 2.0; just a few things to keep in mind for a first few dates:

If you're not a drinker and they insist that you have a drink, it’s time to leave.
If you do drink alcohol on a date, limit yourself to one drink per hour when meeting someone for the first time. Also, be aware of your surroundings.

  • Don’t meet in weird, secluded locations.
  • Don’t have sex on the first date. This is true for both men and females. Just because you’re on a date, doesn’t mean it’s going to lead to sex. I think the “three date rule” I’ve heard about, should turn into the “12th date rule”. If they are trying to pressure you into sex early on, then it’s all they are after. If it’s all you’re after, fine. But I urge you to read the Appendix on venereal diseases.
  • When you’re on a date, no means no, not maybe. No woman deserves to be accosted or sexually assaulted under any circumstance. I also certainly don’t agree, it’s okay to be a tease. There is a difference between teasing and flirting, and we all know what it is.

 These are just a few common-sense rules I think all people can use and modify to suit their needs. You would be surprised how many people have trouble following these simple rules, or ‘guidelines’. In addition.....