or Sit Down, Shut Up & Learn Something

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Chapter 14 Excerpt

‘‘Why?’ This is the question I would ask, if someone asked me for a pre-nup (prenuptial agreement), or a post-nup (think you can figure this one out). Is it for safety? Is it for control? Is it because the person is insecure in their decision? And who is actually the one pushing for the pre-nup? Is it his business partner, parents, brother or friend?

If it’s coming from his parents, they are crossing a boundary and it is up to him to make sure they understand, he is making a life of his own, with you. They need to trust themselves and the way they brought him up, and trust his judgment. He also needs to draw a line in the sand, as to how his parents are allowed and not allowed to treat you. Treating you as if you were a gold digger, is insulting.

Here’s the way to look at it. We’re sharing our lives and ours bodies with each other. A prenup is about money, and I understand it can be about a lot more. I would never sign a prenup and I certainly would not sign the postnup. If I’m willing to open up myself completely to him and him to me, if we honor each other, if we as women have done our homework and waited to see who this guy really is; then why in the world is the issue of money coming up?Now, I know there are some people out there who will say, this is an insurance policy. The bottom line is, you two must trust each other otherwise, "fa'get about it"! If you do don’t trust each other, a contractual obligation is not going to make things better. Insecurity is not part of a strong, healthy relationship. Nor is it a sign, that the person who wants you to sign the pre-nup, believes the relationship will last. I am allowing him into all parts of my life...

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